Grrrrr........yesterday was the day that H-2 officially began to stay at his grandmother's house. He tells me that he won't be able to see me until the weekend because of gas money and such. I said okay, no big deal.
He sends me a text this morning asking if I would tell him if any packages came for him today. He had been buying a bunch of things on Ebay lately and apparent they were to be delivered this week.
One of his packages was delivered so I told him, his answer was he would be right over.
Huh? Didn't you tell me that you couldn't come over this week because of gas money issues? But when a package is here you can come running?
I found that kind of off putting actually.
Here is the main reason why, a week and a half earlier he $159 of my money to ship out something he sold on Ebay. He said he would replace it by sending the money through Paypal. He then says a couple days later the transaction wouldn't work because of a bank error and he would have to give me the money at a later time.
Right............next thing I know he is ordering a watch etc etc from Ebay.
Meanwhile that money is needed to pay bills and put food on the table for the kids. Gee thanks!
And he wonders why I am ticked about him running straight over to get his precious package. It feels like he is rubbing it in.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
The Twins
Last night was supposed to be a night out with an old friend from out of town. For the most part it was, I kept having some pain in my back on the left side. For me that's a surefire indicator that I have yet another kidney stone rolling around. I put it to the back burner in hopes that it would fade away and I could still have a good night.
On my way home though it became apparent this wasn't going to go away. I came home, H-2 was in bed already. I took some pain meds and tried to lay down and get some rest. H-2 told me to wake him if I needed to go to the e.r. or if I wanted to take a drive. Through trial and error we had learned that Michigan's horrible roads actually had a positive use, they shake kidney stones loose and and induce them to pass. I said thanks and turned over to sleep.
Not more than 90 minutes later I was woken from my sleep with horrible pain. I jumped in the shower hoping the hot water would give me some relief. That didn't do it and finally after listening to me whimper H-2 insisted we head for the hospital. They can't so much for me other than give me pain meds to make me comfortable but we headed there anyway since what I had at home wasn't helping.
When I got there I was immediately taken back to triage and then taken back to a "room." The triage nurse said it would be about 7 minutes before I saw anyone because it was shift change. I said ok and settled in on the gurney. No one offered me a blanket, it was freezing in there.
I saw several nurses walking around, not a single one came in to see me. I was in extreme pain and very nauseous. H-2 went to get me a cool towel for my face to help with the nausea. An hour passes, still no nurse. I push the call button and hear "Can I help you?" I said, "I wanted to know if I could get something for the pain?" She hung up on me. No, "let me get your nurse" or "just a minute." She just HUNG UP!
At this point I was tempted to limp my way tot he nurses' station and puke on their desk, perhaps they would take notice of me then. H-2 kept getting up to see what they were doing and each time he said at least three nurses were just sitting there doing nothing.
Thirty minutes pass and H-2 decides he can't bear watching me in pain anymore so he pushes the call button. "Can I help you?" "Yes, is there someone who can come see my wife?" The voice says, "Physician" and hangs up!
Are you kidding me???
Another 30 minutes pass and this nurse FINALLY comes in. She looks like she just graduated and is super timid. She says, "How are you feeling?"
Really? Really?? I just found a way to say I was in extreme pain and I wasn't happy at all with how long it took my calls to be answered.
"I'm really sorry." Yeah, that's going to help my pain lady.
She was really upset that I didn't accept her apology. At that point I was only interested in getting an i.v. and some pain meds and something for nausea.
She leaves, says she has to talk to my doctor. She comes back about 20 minutes later to put in an i.v. Now she took forever to look at my arms, that should have been my first clue. She took almost ten minutes to pick her spot and was really unsure about what vein to use. Lets just say her results were not good. She had to take out the i.v. and find someone else.
At this point we are going on two and a half hours of no pain relief. A new tech comes in to try and find a vein. However, she was delayed by my nausea. After getting sick she picks her spot on my arm. Right as she is about to put the needle in I told her to freeze! I had a distinctive and familiar pain in my lower abdomen. Then I felt tremendous relief! I think the stone had passed.
She insisted on placing the i.v so they could give me fluids, more like so they could justify billing my insurance. Before she hooked me up I insisted on a trip to the bathroom. I was right, I had passed not one stone, but two! They were HUGE!!!
The doctor comes in and I show him my "twins" and he is thoroughly impressed. So much so he comes back with another doctor admire my creation.
I was released shortly after since there was nothing left to do. I was really upset with the treatment I received or lack thereof. I never did get any pain relief. However, H-2 was there the whole time and did take good care of me, that is one thing I can never complain about with him. He has always taken good care of me when I am ill.
On my way home though it became apparent this wasn't going to go away. I came home, H-2 was in bed already. I took some pain meds and tried to lay down and get some rest. H-2 told me to wake him if I needed to go to the e.r. or if I wanted to take a drive. Through trial and error we had learned that Michigan's horrible roads actually had a positive use, they shake kidney stones loose and and induce them to pass. I said thanks and turned over to sleep.
Not more than 90 minutes later I was woken from my sleep with horrible pain. I jumped in the shower hoping the hot water would give me some relief. That didn't do it and finally after listening to me whimper H-2 insisted we head for the hospital. They can't so much for me other than give me pain meds to make me comfortable but we headed there anyway since what I had at home wasn't helping.
When I got there I was immediately taken back to triage and then taken back to a "room." The triage nurse said it would be about 7 minutes before I saw anyone because it was shift change. I said ok and settled in on the gurney. No one offered me a blanket, it was freezing in there.
I saw several nurses walking around, not a single one came in to see me. I was in extreme pain and very nauseous. H-2 went to get me a cool towel for my face to help with the nausea. An hour passes, still no nurse. I push the call button and hear "Can I help you?" I said, "I wanted to know if I could get something for the pain?" She hung up on me. No, "let me get your nurse" or "just a minute." She just HUNG UP!
At this point I was tempted to limp my way tot he nurses' station and puke on their desk, perhaps they would take notice of me then. H-2 kept getting up to see what they were doing and each time he said at least three nurses were just sitting there doing nothing.
Thirty minutes pass and H-2 decides he can't bear watching me in pain anymore so he pushes the call button. "Can I help you?" "Yes, is there someone who can come see my wife?" The voice says, "Physician" and hangs up!
Are you kidding me???
Another 30 minutes pass and this nurse FINALLY comes in. She looks like she just graduated and is super timid. She says, "How are you feeling?"
Really? Really?? I just found a way to say I was in extreme pain and I wasn't happy at all with how long it took my calls to be answered.
"I'm really sorry." Yeah, that's going to help my pain lady.
She was really upset that I didn't accept her apology. At that point I was only interested in getting an i.v. and some pain meds and something for nausea.
She leaves, says she has to talk to my doctor. She comes back about 20 minutes later to put in an i.v. Now she took forever to look at my arms, that should have been my first clue. She took almost ten minutes to pick her spot and was really unsure about what vein to use. Lets just say her results were not good. She had to take out the i.v. and find someone else.
At this point we are going on two and a half hours of no pain relief. A new tech comes in to try and find a vein. However, she was delayed by my nausea. After getting sick she picks her spot on my arm. Right as she is about to put the needle in I told her to freeze! I had a distinctive and familiar pain in my lower abdomen. Then I felt tremendous relief! I think the stone had passed.
She insisted on placing the i.v so they could give me fluids, more like so they could justify billing my insurance. Before she hooked me up I insisted on a trip to the bathroom. I was right, I had passed not one stone, but two! They were HUGE!!!
The doctor comes in and I show him my "twins" and he is thoroughly impressed. So much so he comes back with another doctor admire my creation.
I was released shortly after since there was nothing left to do. I was really upset with the treatment I received or lack thereof. I never did get any pain relief. However, H-2 was there the whole time and did take good care of me, that is one thing I can never complain about with him. He has always taken good care of me when I am ill.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The writing is on the "wall"
I have this theory that Facebook is the root of all evil, especially when it comes to relationships. I went to H-2's page today and saw a post that read "Hit me up Friday, I know a spot." This was posted by a friend of his that we both went to high school with. This guy is a known player and cheated on his ex-wife. He even tried hooking up with me before I was with H-2 and when he was still married.
So I say to H-2, "I see you have plan for Friday."
H-2, "Huh?"
Uhhhhh......yeah, I guess I forgot I was born yesterday.
He has spent the better part of that last hour telling me he didn't contact him and he had no plans for Friday night. He then spins it on me because I have a friend coming in from out of town who wants to go out for a Girls' Night. I asked on Facebook if anyone knew of a place to go dancing that had an older crowd.
Well that just screams cheating to H-2. I am going somewhere that is a "club" and serves "libations" (who uses that term anyway?) and what ever goes on afterwards. OMG!!!!!!
Can he get anymore annoying? From day 1 he has been paranoid about cheating. In the beginning I got it, his ex-wife cheated on him and left him for the man she cheated with. She has since married the guy and had a child with him. But thanks to her actions I have spent my whole relationship under this huge microscope. I had to get rid of all my male friends because he wasn't comfortable with them. I could absolutely under no circumstances speak to any of my exes who I was friends with. Not even when one of them had a baby and the baby died after only nine days in this world. Sending him a condolence message on Facebook was like stabbing H-2 in the back.
When you come into a relationship and put that much pressure on a person its only a matter of time before that person cracks.
So I say to H-2, "I see you have plan for Friday."
H-2, "Huh?"
Uhhhhh......yeah, I guess I forgot I was born yesterday.
He has spent the better part of that last hour telling me he didn't contact him and he had no plans for Friday night. He then spins it on me because I have a friend coming in from out of town who wants to go out for a Girls' Night. I asked on Facebook if anyone knew of a place to go dancing that had an older crowd.
Well that just screams cheating to H-2. I am going somewhere that is a "club" and serves "libations" (who uses that term anyway?) and what ever goes on afterwards. OMG!!!!!!
Can he get anymore annoying? From day 1 he has been paranoid about cheating. In the beginning I got it, his ex-wife cheated on him and left him for the man she cheated with. She has since married the guy and had a child with him. But thanks to her actions I have spent my whole relationship under this huge microscope. I had to get rid of all my male friends because he wasn't comfortable with them. I could absolutely under no circumstances speak to any of my exes who I was friends with. Not even when one of them had a baby and the baby died after only nine days in this world. Sending him a condolence message on Facebook was like stabbing H-2 in the back.
When you come into a relationship and put that much pressure on a person its only a matter of time before that person cracks.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Grand Experiment
So one of my and H-2's biggest conflicts has always been money. I bring in approximately 80% of the the income. His portion would be more but he pays child support for his three children, which I completely support. He also pays for our health insurance out of his paychecks. The bulk of my income is child support from H-1 for my three kids and the rest is earned income.
One of H-2's biggest "complaints" is that he can't spend his money however he sees fit. Translation: he can't buy expensive electronics and video games because he has to help pay bills.
After hearing this same complaint over and over I proposed an experiment. Since I knew that I could cover expenses with my income I told him he could take his paychecks for the next month and do whatever he pleases with the money.
Now some would see this as a complete set up and he even mentioned that himself. I saw as an opportunity to give him what he has been clamoring for all this time and a chance to see his true colors. Would he actually think to offer me ANY money for expenses out of his pay or would he truly be so selfish as to spend it all on himself.
Tune in a month from now to find out!
One of H-2's biggest "complaints" is that he can't spend his money however he sees fit. Translation: he can't buy expensive electronics and video games because he has to help pay bills.
After hearing this same complaint over and over I proposed an experiment. Since I knew that I could cover expenses with my income I told him he could take his paychecks for the next month and do whatever he pleases with the money.
Now some would see this as a complete set up and he even mentioned that himself. I saw as an opportunity to give him what he has been clamoring for all this time and a chance to see his true colors. Would he actually think to offer me ANY money for expenses out of his pay or would he truly be so selfish as to spend it all on himself.
Tune in a month from now to find out!
Been There, Done That - TWICE!
This blog is about my personal experiences as I prepare to embark on my second voyage through divorce. It will give me a place to vent and share the ups and downs that many divorcees go through.
But first, some quick background information to help you along this journey with me.
I have been married twice. The first time was to my high-school sweetheart. From here on out I will refer to him as H-1. We were together for 12 years and married for eight. We have three beautiful children together, two boys and one girl. I spent two years contemplating divorce from my first husband. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make especially since it involved more than just myself, it directly affected my children as well.
The divorce went rather smoothly. I think that was mostly because the children were fairly young at the time. My oldest was six. H-1 and I are fairly amicable and for the most part able to put things aside for the sake of our kids. We attend most functions together and the children are able to see us work together in parenting. For the most part. There are many things that drive me absolutely nuts that H-1 does but I try to keep it together for the kids.
H-1 and I have been divorced for five years. I met husband number two,H-2, in high school as well. We connected years later and a love match was made. Or so we thought. We took the fast track to marriage and five months later we found ourselves under a tree on a bright sunny morning taking our marriage vows.
Now here we are not even two years later, one seperation behind us and in the midst of another, teetering on the brink of divorce. H-2 is a very challenging man, traditional in his thoughts on how a marriage should be and the roles each of us should take. We also brought three children each into the marriage. As if getting married so quickly wasn't enough of a challenge. Blending six kids together has proven to be a hard task and we both have vastly different opinions on the rules they should follow, I will get into that more in later posts.
Whoever said that marriage is a compromise obviously didn't tell H-2 because he doesn't get that concept. Now I know my opinion is biased but I do have several supporters who have seen this particular behavior.
So there you have it, the basics. More details will follow later posts as each day unfolds around here. Right now my focus is my children and making sure they are healthy emotionally and otherwise.
Thanks for "listening"
But first, some quick background information to help you along this journey with me.
I have been married twice. The first time was to my high-school sweetheart. From here on out I will refer to him as H-1. We were together for 12 years and married for eight. We have three beautiful children together, two boys and one girl. I spent two years contemplating divorce from my first husband. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make especially since it involved more than just myself, it directly affected my children as well.
The divorce went rather smoothly. I think that was mostly because the children were fairly young at the time. My oldest was six. H-1 and I are fairly amicable and for the most part able to put things aside for the sake of our kids. We attend most functions together and the children are able to see us work together in parenting. For the most part. There are many things that drive me absolutely nuts that H-1 does but I try to keep it together for the kids.
H-1 and I have been divorced for five years. I met husband number two,H-2, in high school as well. We connected years later and a love match was made. Or so we thought. We took the fast track to marriage and five months later we found ourselves under a tree on a bright sunny morning taking our marriage vows.
Now here we are not even two years later, one seperation behind us and in the midst of another, teetering on the brink of divorce. H-2 is a very challenging man, traditional in his thoughts on how a marriage should be and the roles each of us should take. We also brought three children each into the marriage. As if getting married so quickly wasn't enough of a challenge. Blending six kids together has proven to be a hard task and we both have vastly different opinions on the rules they should follow, I will get into that more in later posts.
Whoever said that marriage is a compromise obviously didn't tell H-2 because he doesn't get that concept. Now I know my opinion is biased but I do have several supporters who have seen this particular behavior.
So there you have it, the basics. More details will follow later posts as each day unfolds around here. Right now my focus is my children and making sure they are healthy emotionally and otherwise.
Thanks for "listening"
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